Guest Writer: Morgan Couch

Moragn is one of our exceptionally skilled Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors (LCPC) in the Behavioral Health program. Morgan brings deep expertise and a thoughtful perspective, and we are delighted to have her voice featured.

Being labeled as “shy” as a little kid always made me feel like it wasn’t a good characteristic to have. I cannot tell you the number of times that people would come up to me and ask, “why are you so quiet?” For some reason, my quiet style of being in the world was not the right or preferred way of being.

Our society often places a higher value on bold voices and assertive personalities, which, oftentimes, leaves quieter people feeling sidelined and undervalued. However, introverts carry remarkable talent and abilities that are not acknowledged nearly enough. Introversion is often misunderstood as it’s different than being shy. Shyness is about fear of being socially judged. Introversion is a personality trait characterized by a preference for solitude or small group interactions. Introverts recharge in quiet environments and are introspective. Introversion is one way in which we respond to stimulation, like social interaction. Whereas people who align with extroversion enjoy or even crave large amounts of stimulation, introverts typically feel most alive in quieter spaces.

There are several common myths about people who lean toward introversion.

· Introverts Are Shy: Not all introverts are fearful of social interactions. Some people are confident but simply prefer limited social contact because it’s less emotionally exhausting.

· Introverts Hate Socializing: Introverts can enjoy social get togethers but may prefer smaller settings for connection.

· Introverts Are Anti-Social: Introverts do not hate people; they’re just not fans of small talk. Typically, people want meaningful connections to be able to share their inner world.

· Introverts Lack Leadership Skills: Introverts often shine in leadership roles, bringing strong listening skills and thoughtfulness to their decisions.

Introverts possess many highly coveted skills and abilities that benefit themselves and others around them. Here are some of my favorite ones.

1. Emotional Intelligence: this is the ability to recognize and manage your emotions to be able to communicate with others and build relationships. As introverts, we’re able to understand subtle cues that help us understand those around us.

2. Empathetic Listening: introverts have a reputation for loving our alone time, but we do deeply care about other people! Many of us are highly attuned to those around us and have a way of “absorbing the emotions.” We do this by truly listening, picking up facial expressions and body language and watching reactions.

3. Creative: this is one of the ways we use our voices. Our thoughts and ideas can come out in so many wonderful ways; music, poetry, photography, painting, or designing a room. Imagination is a beautiful way to relax or work out a problem.

4. Compassionate Leadership: Compassion helps build trust and respect. Having empathy and a deep understanding from leaders cultivates an environment where people feel valued, heard, and empowered. And that is a powerful thing.

There is this societal pressure to be more extroverted, and our schools and workplaces prioritize large group discussions, presentations, and networking, expecting people to engage and collaborate at will. This push to constantly go outside your comfort zone can impact mental health. For instance, when introverts act more outgoing and assertive, they experience improved moods and energy levels in the short term. But because these traits are inconsistent with their natural personalities, their energy levels will drop very shortly after. And this ultimately dampens their ability to benefit from these activities. So, the more society strives for extroversion, the long-term effect for introverts is detrimental. We become exhausted, anxious, and discouraged the more we are pushed to have extroverted behaviors. People who are naturally more introverted may still stand to benefit from adopting extroverted behaviors in some cases. But research illustrates the importance of doing it in moderation, and making sure to give yourself time to recharge when you do choose to act more extroverted than you prefer.

So, how do you balance this? Self-reflection is key here. Ask yourself how you feel about different social situations, and how much time you need to recover from different kinds of extroverted activities. Next, remember to take breaks. Carving out some alone

time can be essential and finding what helps to process the exhaustion. Stream-of-thought writing can be an effective way to recharge and process high stimulation. At the end of the day, it’s all about understanding your limits and using your social battery wisely.

When I was given the opportunity to write this post, I felt especially compelled to give voice to that “shy” little kid who didn’t think she was strong enough. And now, I feel confident to share this with all of you-especially to my fellow introverts who might relate; Yes, we’re reserved. We may not be the most bold or assertive person in the room. And that’s ok! We are still strong. And maybe we need to rethink what a “strength” means in the first place.

“Introverts, the world needs you and it needs the things you carry”- Susan Cain